Black Box Fears
TGIF (Thank God I’m Fearless)
I have been doing a lot of adjusting lately. Merely for the reasons that my skin was becoming a little uncomfortable to be in. Sometimes when you embrace that inner desire to change; is when the change will stick. Back in the day, I blamed my attitude on my past, ex, mom, or because of whatever the day of the week it was. I had an explanation every time someone initiated “you got a bad attitude” Well you hear that enough you’ll learn to be invulnerable to it, and simply apply it with the fact that they are just as imperfect as you are. That gets old too. It wasn’t until I decided to look at myself without the smoke on the mirror, and observed I had a problem.
Everyone has an attitude but it doesn’t have to be a “negative” one. I wanted my inside to match my outside; so, I tailored somethings and now my skin doesn’t itch as bad. I had to really take self-inventory and figure out my trigger points. Did I think I was so self-righteous that I didn’t have room to change? NO! Did I think I was the only one created on the earth with problems? NO! Did I think I was unchangeable or unmovable? NO! When I started purging things about myself; I realized some of the relationships I pushed away was more me than them. Me by the art of how I didn’t value their opinions. I said to myself; You can’t be FEARLESS and not see that you created a runway of negative behaviors and unwanted explanation. (Next) I came to the realization that if it took too long to explain; I had a bad ATTITUDE! (Stand in line for adjustments) Boy is this line long!
My attitude was grounded in my emotional state that was counterproductive to what I desired for my life. The effect of my behavior triggered a defense I built up (A WALL) that kept me safe, single, and strong. (at least in my eyes) I am so beyond the whole attitude thing now. Now as I move forward with the new; people like to remind me of the old. If that happens to you; simply smile and request them to explain. If they can’t; they don’t warrant your tailored shift. Don’t allow someone to box you into wherever you left. The change is more for YOU than THEM. If your attitude needs adjusting; don’t wait for an intervention to comprehend you hold the tools to adjust it.
Check your Attitude if you have the following:
- Victim Mentality
- Short Tempered
- Your Relationships aren’t working
- People Tell you all the time you have an attitude
See It. Say It. Slay It.
See It. Say It. Slay It.
It January 12, 2019. You might already be running with Fear and Doubt. Those two love to run together. Let me start by telling you that you are not alone. We set our minds to conquer our goals. We reach the halfway mark and it’s further away. The solution is simple. See the GIANT, Say to the Giant (I will move you), and lastly, Slay the Giant. The Giant is your Goal/Vision/Purpose. Your ambition to get it done will reflect your ability to Slay. You can’t want a shiny object and be afraid to reach for it. Even if it’s outside your readch, learn how to stretch. Your exhausted because you are beating yourself up over doubt and fear. Be sure to STOP right here, and tell Fear and Doubt to GET OUT! They can rock with you when you have so much to accomplish.
Here is the truth about you that you are subconsciously forgetting. You have the power to turn the red-light green. Who’s stopping you from Seeing where you need to be? Who’s stopping you from Saying it will happen? Who’s stopping you for Slaying it? Have you figured out yet that all this time it been YOU! You are the problem?
No one is holding that remote while you flip through channels.
No one is holding your eyes open for you to watch others slay on reality tv.
No one is holding your ears to the phone while you gossip, or gossip is delivered to your captivated ears.
No one is definitely rocking you to sleep when that alarm is snoozed several times.
When you reach your designed, calculated, blood, sweat, and tears purpose; you will realize that you had the power all along. You just didn’t lay the electric bill.
There’s a price to pay for success. You can’t double Dutch in and out what you want to do, and what you got to do. Make doing what you GOT to do mandatory.
It’s time to See what you want. Say it to yourself (no excuses) will stop you. Then Slay the dang on thang. Don’t apologize to anyone for your shifts. Stop checking everyone’s temperatures; that will tire you out, distract you, and make you bitter. There is nothing wrong with repositioning your actions. I mean; realistically if they are (For You) they will understand. Figure out what your WHY is; give it a deeper definition. That will make you want it more. Don’t let six months introduce itself to you, and you forgot who was.
It’s time to make your necessary change stick.
- Superglue your faith to your destiny.
- See yourself going to that place.
- Qualify yourself to have the rights to Slay!
Is The “Me Too Movement” Getting Old?
Past whispers and secrets are now being amplified to an aggressive opinionated society. There are a lot of victims being noticed now in the “Me Too Movement”. There was once upon a time a secret society that only told their closest friends. The “Me Too Movement” can be a family member, wrong place and time, employer, entertainment industry, leadership, political leaders, or even in a committed relationship. People affected by the “Me Too Movement” will always be victims because it happened. Those scars, are inevitably scars that may never heal. If you entered a crowded conference and this subject is raised, 60% probably has dealt with this horrific act of violence. 10% doesn’t have the courage to speak; merely out of fear. The percentages are mind-blowing.
The “Me Too Movement” widely gained recognition in 2017. Where was this movement centuries ago? It would’ve been entitled “Don’t ask, Don’t Tell” As far as my mind can reach, I have often heard; “it happened to me long ago, and if I say something now, no one would believe me.” What this does is make the perpetrator believe it is OK to do it again. You don’t have to be a celebrity to be heard. If you have been violated mentally or sexually, the damage has been done. It needs to be addressed. The scars develop calluses; they don’t heal. It is only when you regain the power to SPEAK OUT; others will have the courage to do so.
I too; am a member of the “Me Too Movement” In fact, I have been affected by the movement several times. When I kept it a secret, the perpetrator did it again to someone else. Now widely spread, are celebrities given notice to this movement. Social Media is on a continuing rampage with aggressive opinions in disbelief by the survivors. It makes it worse when the survivors belch out secrets that are crushed by opinions of others. It saddens me even further; that someone will take this Movement as a joke. I want to go on record to say that if you have been affected by the “Me Too Movement” you don’t allow SILENCE to pacify your pain. The pain does not go away. It becomes a staple over your life.
So, the question is: Is the “Me Too Movement” getting old?” Absolutely not! In fact; it is just receiving the recognition, and it is about time. I encourage more women and men to come forth with their voices. Let your voices be heard, so that other victims will feel the courage to come forth!
The Right Time
We go through life praying that we can build something meaningful that we would grow old and be proud of. Life doesn’t always give you the time you think you deserve. One day you wake up feeling your energetic self, and the next day you wake up and feel as though time is moving faster than you are. You ask yourself; where did the time go? Well, the time moved in the segments arranged by the calendar days. You probably allowed your inner clock to move based on your emotions.
It is now 2018. What is it that you were supposed to do ten years, five years, or even one year ago? What happened to that idea that kept you excited enough to share it when you first envisioned it? What happened to the pep you had in your step? What happened to that project you put on your vision board? You keep giving time too much responsibility. You are not being truly accountable for the one person that knows that you personally have allowed time to slip by without proof you appreciated it. (in my head, that made perfect sense) I have been there; sometimes I double Dutch back and forth with it now.
I keep saying is this The Right Time for me to start over? Is this The Right Time to Let Go, is this The Right Time to make that call? Let me tell you something detrimental to your mental health to live by: The Right Time is always the time you first thought it up! If time taps you on your shoulder, and you are too busy to recognize that you ignored the tap, TIME might not give you that opportunity again.
Don’t take TIME for granted. As I stated earlier; Time is segmented by calendars days. What is on your calendar that is keeping you away from living your best life? Do you have an idea of what BEST looks like in your future, scratch that, YOUR Right Now? You owe yourself, and TIME to stop procrastinating. I stopped saying ” I don’t have TIME” Whatever you put “I” in front of, will rule the rest of where you are going in your statement. Is this the Right Time for you to WIN? I certainly hope your answer is YES!!
Show a Little R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
I am going to make my keyboard sing, like Stevie Wonder did the harmonica at the Queen of Soul Service. I mentally dissect everything; it is the way God has designed me to operate. I took a journey through my mind, through the minds of who was visually acknowledged. I marveled at Stevie Wonder. Here is a gift to the nation, that someone may say is cursed, or handicapped. This man has raw talent. He has never even seen Mrs. Aretha Franklin, but he loved her because of her presence. He doesn’t even know what black and white looks like, but he loves through touch. My God what a wonderful blessing that must be. To not have your judgement be clouded by the color of skin. I could tell through emotional trembling vocal chords, that grief of her loss was deeper than the surface of the human eye. I could tell that she touched people in different ways. I could tell that she was a fighter. I could tell that she was able to bridge the gaps between politics. I could tell that she campaign for change. That is what legacy is all about. #RESPECT, LOVE, KINDNESS
I wouldn’t dare call it a funeral, because so much life was present. The fact that LOVE showed revolutionize history forever. Mrs. Aretha Franklin was Auntie Aretha to many. Even to me. Her music was heartfelt, rather it was Rhythm and Blues, Gospel, Jazz, or even her melodious dialogue. The gift she was afforded deserved the level of Respect I witnessed on yesterday. In fact; after leaving work early, I was so excited to leave I wasn’t aware that the service was screaming live. I listened with great admiration to everyone. She was so well respected by generation after generation. I remember growing up my mom would blast her music on Saturday, indicating it is time to clean out the refrigerator, the cabinets, and anything else the Queen of Soul moved her to dictate to my siblings and I. What was most noticeable on yesterday is some of the commentary of the timing it took for her service.
When you think about the years she suffered silently with a disease that has rocked every household at some point, you would think the Respect would have been higher for a legendary. She was someone’s mother, grandmother, aunt, friend, and she was certainly an idol. Displaying respect doesn’t cost a dime. It actually builds character. Death can tap us on the shoulder at any moment; would you want your life’s legacy to be rushed? I would think not. You only die once. I am sure her service could have been longer, considering how many friends and family would have embraced the opportunity to speak or perform at her service.
My takeaway is this; no matter what household you grew up in or around, RESPECT should be given to everyone. Especially through grief and sorrow. Your words of venom can not be retracted once your ears are penetrated with them. Just like the rhythm of music is easily learned and dissected into our souls, so are harmful, toxic, and unforgettable words. When I loss my mother, it taught me that when your time is up, you can’t go back and do over what has already been done. It is recorded in the book of your character. While you are still leaving, there is time to practice RESPECT, until you get right.
I would like to personally request that if you were among the negative commentary, that you ask for forgiveness, and learn to show RESPECT, LOVE, and KINDNESS!
Fearless Advocate for CHANGE
Flaws & All
Flaws & All
It’s really funny how the world spins around and around and we aren’t dizzy attempting to keep up with all that it spits out. Truth be told; it is very tiresome to attempt to be someone that isn’t aware that your efforts are in full drive mode to be like them. I mean your dreams should never be mirrored by someone else’s success. You have to learn to accept your Flaws & All. It is important that who you are is driven by what it means to have a strong character and a person with high values. Not one person on the face of this earth has the same character. Not one person on the face of this earth has the same flaws. Not one person on this earth, know exactly what it means to be you. Even identical twin has their own identity. Learn to accept your Flaws & All!
I remember as a young girl I would get upset about my thick eyebrows, the roundness of my face, and my underdeveloped body. I didn’t understand as a teenage girl that my legs and butt would soon catch up to the rest of my body. Now I see in this wonderful world we live in, people building bodies to look like someone that also built a body. (Go Figure) Learn to accept your Flaws & All! Everything I had issues with as a young girl is now craved by the majority of women. They want full eyebrows. They even want round cheeks. They buy curves. I had to learn to accept my flaws way back then.
Flaws & All; simply means to love everything about yourself. You loving yourself will not look like anyone else. You will begin to love yourself from the inside out, rather than the outside in. It helps to know that growth can happen to anyone. I am constantly learning more about myself. I am constantly learning to fall so deeply in love with who I am now, and who I aim to be. My message for whoever is reading this; rather you are a man or a woman, to fall in love with yourself. The person you fall in love with will be beautiful enough for others to appreciate and respect.
Love your Flaws & ALL!
“Dare 2 Dig Deeper”
There is a secret inside of you waiting to emerge, and come out fighting. If you continue to allow yourself to remain in an “AVERAGE LIFESTYLE” you will continue to lose battles you are qualified to win. To win, will release endorphins that are meant to be applied to your winning lifestyle. You need to tell yourself it’s time to dig a little deeper! What you have been doing is not enough. DIG DEEPER! The places you need to go are further away from where you are. DIG DEEPER! You have a great chance in reaching your goals, DIG DEEPER! If you keep stopping, how will you ever reach the top, the finish line? DIG DEEPER! You want to do something in your life that’s meaningful, you want to leave a legacy, you want to start a business, you want to be a better mother, a better father, a better…
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