Black Box Fears

Is The “Me Too Movement” Getting Old?

Past whispers and secrets are now being amplified to an aggressive opinionated society. There are a lot of victims being noticed now in the “Me Too Movement”. There was once upon a time a secret society that only told their closest friends. The “Me Too Movement” can be a family member, wrong place and time, employer, entertainment industry, leadership, political leaders, or even in a committed relationship. People affected by the “Me Too Movement” will always be victims because it happened. Those scars, are inevitably scars that may never heal. If you entered a crowded conference and this subject is raised, 60% probably has dealt with this horrific act of violence. 10% doesn’t have the courage to speak; merely out of fear. The percentages are mind-blowing.

The “Me Too Movement” widely gained recognition in 2017. Where was this movement centuries ago? It would’ve been entitled “Don’t ask, Don’t Tell” As far as my mind can reach, I have often heard; “it happened to me long ago, and if I say something now, no one would believe me.” What this does is make the perpetrator believe it is OK to do it again. You don’t have to be a celebrity to be heard. If you have been violated mentally or sexually, the damage has been done. It needs to be addressed. The scars develop calluses; they don’t heal. It is only when you regain the power to SPEAK OUT; others will have the courage to do so.

I too; am a member of the “Me Too Movement” In fact, I have been affected by the movement several times. When I kept it a secret, the perpetrator did it again to someone else. Now widely spread, are celebrities given notice to this movement. Social Media is on a continuing rampage with aggressive opinions in disbelief by the survivors. It makes it worse when the survivors belch out secrets that are crushed by opinions of others. It saddens me even further; that someone will take this Movement as a joke. I want to go on record to say that if you have been affected by the “Me Too Movement” you don’t allow SILENCE to pacify your pain. The pain does not go away. It becomes a staple over your life.

So, the question is: Is the “Me Too Movement” getting old?” Absolutely not! In fact; it is just receiving the recognition, and it is about time. I encourage more women and men to come forth with their voices. Let your voices be heard, so that other victims will feel the courage to come forth!

 

~Fearless Passion

The Right Time

We go through life praying that we can build something meaningful that we would grow old and be proud of. Life doesn’t always give you the time you think you deserve. One day you wake up feeling your energetic self, and the next day you wake up and feel as though time is moving faster than you are. You ask yourself; where did the time go? Well, the time moved in the segments arranged by the calendar days. You probably allowed your inner clock to move based on your emotions.

It is now 2018. What is it that you were supposed to do ten years, five years, or even one year ago? What happened to that idea that kept you excited enough to share it when you first envisioned it? What happened to the pep you had in your step? What happened to that project you put on your vision board? You keep giving time too much responsibility. You are not being truly accountable for the one person that knows that you personally have allowed time to slip by without proof you appreciated it. (in my head, that made perfect sense) I have been there; sometimes I double Dutch back and forth with it now.

I keep saying is this The Right Time for me to start over? Is this The Right Time to Let Go, is this The Right Time to make that call? Let me tell you something detrimental to your mental health to live by: The Right Time is always the time you first thought it up! If time taps you on your shoulder, and you are too busy to recognize that you ignored the tap, TIME might not give you that opportunity again.

Don’t take TIME for granted. As I stated earlier; Time is segmented by calendars days. What is on your calendar that is keeping you away from living your best life? Do you have an idea of what BEST looks like in your future, scratch that, YOUR Right Now? You owe yourself, and TIME to stop procrastinating. I stopped saying ” I don’t have TIME” Whatever you put “I” in front of, will rule the rest of where you are going in your statement. Is this the Right Time for you to WIN? I certainly hope your answer is YES!!

 
~Fearless Passion

Show a Little R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

I am going to make my keyboard sing, like Stevie Wonder did the harmonica at the Queen of Soul Service. I mentally dissect everything; it is the way God has designed me to operate.  I took a journey through my mind, through the minds of who was visually acknowledged.  I marveled at Stevie Wonder.  Here is a gift to the nation, that someone may say is cursed, or handicapped.  This man has raw talent.  He has never even seen Mrs. Aretha Franklin, but he loved her because of her presence.  He doesn’t even know what black and white looks like, but he loves through touch.  My God what a wonderful blessing that must be.  To not have your judgement be clouded by the color of skin.  I could tell through emotional trembling vocal chords, that grief of her loss was deeper than the surface of the human eye.  I could tell that she touched people in different ways.  I could tell that she was a fighter.  I could tell that she was able to bridge the gaps between politics.  I could tell that she campaign for change.  That is what legacy is all about. #RESPECT, LOVE, KINDNESS

 

I wouldn’t dare call it a funeral, because so much life was present.  The fact that LOVE showed revolutionize history forever.  Mrs. Aretha Franklin was Auntie Aretha to many.  Even to me.  Her music was heartfelt, rather it was Rhythm and Blues, Gospel, Jazz, or even her melodious dialogue.  The gift she was afforded deserved the level of Respect I witnessed on yesterday.  In fact; after leaving work early, I was so excited to leave I wasn’t aware that the service was screaming live. I listened with great admiration to everyone. She was so well respected by generation after generation.  I remember growing up my mom would blast her music on Saturday, indicating it is time to clean out the refrigerator, the cabinets, and anything else the Queen of Soul moved her to dictate to my siblings and I.  What was most noticeable on yesterday is some of the commentary of the timing it took for her service.

When you think about the years she suffered silently with a disease that has rocked every household at some point, you would think the Respect would have been higher for a legendary.  She was someone’s mother, grandmother, aunt, friend, and she was certainly an idol.  Displaying respect doesn’t cost a dime.  It actually builds character.  Death can tap us on the shoulder at any moment; would you want your life’s legacy to be rushed?  I would think not.  You only die once.  I am sure her service could have been longer, considering how many friends and family would have embraced the opportunity to speak or perform at her service.

My takeaway is this; no matter what household you grew up in or around, RESPECT should be given to everyone.  Especially through grief and sorrow.  Your words of venom can not be retracted once your ears are penetrated with them. Just like the rhythm of music is easily learned and dissected into our souls, so are harmful, toxic, and unforgettable words. When I loss my mother, it taught me that when your time is up, you can’t go back and do over what has already been done.  It is recorded in the book of your character. While you are still leaving, there is time to practice RESPECT, until you get right.

I would like to personally request that if you were among the negative commentary, that you ask for forgiveness, and learn to show RESPECT, LOVE, and KINDNESS!

 

~Fearless Passion

Fearless Advocate for CHANGE

 

Flaws & All

Flaws & All

It’s really funny how the world spins around and around and we aren’t dizzy attempting to keep up with all that it spits out. Truth be told; it is very tiresome to attempt to be someone that isn’t aware that your efforts are in full drive mode to be like them. I mean your dreams should never be mirrored by someone else’s success. You have to learn to accept your Flaws & All. It is important that who you are is driven by what it means to have a strong character and a person with high values. Not one person on the face of this earth has the same character. Not one person on the face of this earth has the same flaws. Not one person on this earth, know exactly what it means to be you. Even identical twin has their own identity. Learn to accept your Flaws & All!

I remember as a young girl I would get upset about my thick eyebrows, the roundness of my face, and my underdeveloped body. I didn’t understand as a teenage girl that my legs and butt would soon catch up to the rest of my body. Now I see in this wonderful world we live in, people building bodies to look like someone that also built a body. (Go Figure) Learn to accept your Flaws & All! Everything I had issues with as a young girl is now craved by the majority of women. They want full eyebrows. They even want round cheeks. They buy curves. I had to learn to accept my flaws way back then.

Flaws & All; simply means to love everything about yourself. You loving yourself will not look like anyone else. You will begin to love yourself from the inside out, rather than the outside in. It helps to know that growth can happen to anyone. I am constantly learning more about myself. I am constantly learning to fall so deeply in love with who I am now, and who I aim to be. My message for whoever is reading this; rather you are a man or a woman, to fall in love with yourself. The person you fall in love with will be beautiful enough for others to appreciate and respect.

Love your Flaws & ALL!

~Fearless Passion

“Dare 2 Dig Deeper”

Fabulous. Flawed. Fearless.

There is a secret inside of you waiting to emerge, and come out fighting. If you continue to allow yourself to remain in an “AVERAGE LIFESTYLE” you will continue to lose battles you are qualified to win.  To win, will release endorphins that are meant to be applied to your winning lifestyle.  You need to tell yourself it’s time to dig a little deeper!    What you have been doing is not enough. DIG DEEPER!  The places you need to go are further away from where you are.  DIG DEEPER!  You have a great chance in reaching your goals, DIG DEEPER!  If you keep stopping, how will you ever reach the top, the finish line? DIG DEEPER!  You want to do something in your life that’s meaningful, you want to leave a legacy, you want to start a business, you want to be a better mother, a better father, a better…

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Anger or Depression

Anger can control you if you let it. It can also be the doorway to depression.

You’ve grown up to be quite the success; however, people often wonder why you can’t seem to make friends quickly. You have begun to believe that it is everyone else’s fault for your downfall. In continuous time you have now rerouted what bothers you the most about yourself to an angry outlet. You’ve pretty much read every self-help book there is published on NY best sellers list. Even Oprah Life class or Iyanla can’t fix you. Where do you go for a repair? Who has allowed you to have an outcry without judgment? Is there a shoulder out there available that won’t later whisper your dark secrets to the next person?

This epidemic is highly prevalent among other women. We glamorized ourselves in hopes that we can mask what an underlined depression is. We began to seek validation from outward commodities that get us through the day. We label success as a ladder to further push our underline depression more also into the abyss. Why? We do this so that society doesn’t label us damaged goods. We do this in an effort that someone will see the dried up tears underneath our smile. We do this to wave flags up to suggest that one day someone will turn on a switch to happiness. When this is all said and done, we’ve grown old and now angry, while never addressing what caused us to be depressed.

Depression is standard; it is unhealthy to think that something is majorly wrong with you when you cry up for help, and no one hears your cries. Don’t be embarrassed to know that you are not alone. Don’t allow your doorway to have a depression welcome mat in front of it. Live. Laugh. Love

~Fearless Passion

Visual Scarring

I was bouncing to the sink to wash my hands when suddenly the water from the faucet splashed on the mirror. As I begin to clean the water drops off, I was reminded of a scar I gently cover up daily with concealer. Between my eyes; there is an asymmetric scar that is in a shape of a backwards L. I was given this scar by someone that I can now say is not a demon, not a horrible person, not a representation of black males, but merely a teacher.

At the time at nineteen, I had my life planned out. This person changed the course of my life by dividing the visual effects of my face. Marking me a spokesperson for questions and judgment.
The sound of brass connecting to the bridge of your nose sounds similar to a car wreck. The pain is probably worse. I had no idea that in-between your eyes were so sensitive. This painful connection paralyzed me on the spot, as I fell to the floor in slow motion, I remembered I landed on the front of his hi-tech left boot.

All I remembered at the time of the impact is what my appearance would look like in my future. I had Vaseline my eyebrows in perfect symmetry. The only thing I could do was be still, if I blinked my face would probably have exploded or so I thought.
With brass knuckles still on his right hand, he held my head, and I could see his shiny pupils dilated from his masterpiece. I looked up at him and just turned the corner of my lips up with a smile.
You see visible scarring is easy, the emotional attachment to the pain is the hard part. I asked myself for years if I had died what would the world be without me in it. There would be no historical data of my weirdness, my boldness, my fearlessness. Here is when I realized that I was a victim. I have three beautiful daughters; the pain didn’t numb me into nonexistence. It taught me right away about trust.

It told me that no matter the pain, God is a healer. Every time I wash my face, I am reminded of the slow motion and strategic movement the doctor orchestrated to stitch my face up. I remembered the darkness I experienced, that forced me to tap into a passion I always knew was there. It taught me that beauty is not outer but inner.
I won’t lie, that lesson was not learned overnight, there was a lot of confusion at such a young age. So when I hear someone say why aren’t you smiling, I am speaking with my eyes that smiling is not an indication of my appreciation of life.

Breathing is my validation that I could have been dead twenty-four years ago, but God spared me. The stories that hide behind my dark eyes have been so private for so many years, keeping quiet keeps you at a victim state, letting go, makes you victorious!

Fearless Passion

 

 

 

 

 

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